A New School year plea for autism parents

​As everyone starts a new school year, I beg my fellow parents to implicitly teach your children about “invisible disabilities.”
So many of us are exposed to and taught about disabilities as something we can always visualize. Even the placard for handicapped persons displays a wheel chair.
We are subconsciously conditioned to be more understanding and patient of the disabilities we can see. A walker, a cane, a wheelchair, a seeing eye dog, a hearing aid, a physical difference…
We should absolutely be aware and respectful of these needs, but sadly we aren’t always as in tune to those disabilities where our mind and sensory system are driving the handicap.
With the astronomical increase in the number of students now diagnosed with autism; an increase of over 300% in 20 years, it is more important than ever to discuss how some disabilities don’t manifest in apparent physical differences.
Some children, like my son, look like a typically developing 14 year old at first glance.
However, his speech is different, his play is different, his mannerisms and behaviors are different.
Different does not mean less, it just means different.
On a daily basis, my child shows up in the world giving 100% but his brain, his oral motor planning, and his sensory system make every day a million times harder for him than his peers.
This can be said for so many invisible disabilities like ADD/ ADHD, anxiety, OCD, PDA, BPD, etc etc.
Mental health has become a buzzword, but still needs more actual societal buy in.
We need more people to understand the power of the brain in overall functioning.
I can see the shift in my own child when anxiety, sensory overwhelm and past traumas take control of his entire body.
When you see a student “giving someone a hard time” or “being difficult”, please understand that no child wakes up in the morning wanting to be labeled this way.
That student is much more likely to be having a hard time and grappling with skill deficits impeding their ability to address it themselves.
When you see someone who looks typical using different or “weird” mannerisms, remember that person may need to stim, may be on sensory overload, and is most likely trying their best to be in a world misaligned with their unique body and mind’s needs.
Practice understanding, kindness and empathy always.
Leave your mind and your heart open, rather than closed off and judging.
It is hard to challenge ourselves to look inward, beyond what we see, but it is so necessary in order to keep children like mine safe and included.
Please talk to your kids about their peers who use talkers to communicate, who might resort to maladaptive behaviors to have a need met, who experience anxiety and fight or flight every single day they leave their home.
The only way to generate true awareness is to speak openly. To keep the conversation going at each and every table.
Let’s create a generation of advocates and allies in the fight for true understanding, acceptance and inclusion.
For children like Connor, their future literally depends on it.